As a victim of incest you have been betrayed by
someone close to you, perhaps someone you love. Living with this fact can be very
painful. The following information may be helpful to you: |
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You are
not alone. Now that this subject has "come out of the closet" and is being
discussed in the media and popular literature, many men and women are coming forward to
say that they have been victims of child sexual assault by a relative. Current
research indicates that one in four girls and one in six boys are victimized before age
18. The offender is known to the child in 75-90 percent of the cases.
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It was
not your fault. children are incapable of giving informed consent to sexual activity
with an adult. In spite of this fact many victims feel that they may have provoked
the assault in some way. The offender may contribute to this by blaming the victim,
minimizing the problem, and even denying that it happened.
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Many
victims of incest have little self-esteem. This can be expressed in many ways -
depression, addiction, inability to make decisions, inability to complete projects and
general feelings of helplessness.
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Incest
exploits the trusting relationship between child and caregiver. As adults, victims
of incest often have difficulty trusting people. This can lead to problems with
friendships and intimate relationships.
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Sometimes
victims become involved with drugs, alcohol or other destructive behavior. It is
painful to deal with the emotional reactions to incest. However, the cycle of
self-destructive behavior can be stopped.
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Some ideas for dealing with these emotions: |
Seek
professional counseling so that you can talk at length to someone who has worked with
other victims.
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Both
private and non-profit agencies, like S.T.A.R are available in Anchorage.
Become
part of a support group with other survivors of incest.
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Write
out your feelings on a regular basis. After a few months, compare your first and
last entries.
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Picture
the offender sitting before you. Tell him or her your feelings.
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Artistic
expression, such as drawing, poetry, or dance can be an outlet for emotions. Read
some articles and books on the subject of incest and child sexual assault.
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The
experiences of childhood affect the way we view the world as adults. However, we do
not have to become trapped in negative behavior patterns because of childhood experiences.
Children have little control over their lives, but adults have decision-making
power and access to information and resources. As adults, we can change the messages
that parents or other adults gave us as children, and choose to live our lives
differently.
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For further information and support, please contact us.
Our contact information is below.
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Survivors of Incest
Reinforce to the victim that she/he is not at fault. 
