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Marital rape, or rape of an intimate partner, is not uncommon
in relationships; in fact 1 in 7 women will be sexually assaulted by her husband. Sexual
contact gained through force, coercion, manipulation or fear of harm is rape, a tool to
control and overpower another person. This type of control is often found with other
violent and abusive behaviors. In relationships with domestic violence, for example, it is
estimated that rape occurs in as many as 70% of these relationships. |
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Sexual assault is one of the most underreported of all crimes.
Victims do not report for a number of reasons, which can include, but are not limited to: |
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Shame |
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Fear of retaliation |
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Fear of being blamed |
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Uncertain whether a crime has been committed |
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Fear of not being believed |
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Embarrassment |
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Of all sexual assaults, marital rape is the most
underreported. The reasons listed above are compounded by personal, cultural, and societal
beliefs that may also prevent a woman from reporting the assault. Additional reasons for
not reporting marital rape may be: |
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Love for partner |
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Thoughts about "obligation" or "duty" |
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Commitment to the relationship |
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Religious beliefs |
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Shared children |
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The impact of sexual assault may last a lifetime and depends
greatly on the victims’ personal beliefs, support network, and treatment received. A
victim of any sexual assault will experience some degree of Rape Trauma Syndrome. In
marital rape, the short-term effects can include: |
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Feelings of betrayal |
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Guilt |
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Anger |
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Fear |
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Humiliation |
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Denial |
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Long-term effects can include: |
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Inability to trust |
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Flashbacks |
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Fear of intimacy |
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Nightmares |
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Acute fear of being assaulted again |
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Sexual dysfunction |
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Healing begins with having a safe place or person to talk
with about the sexual assault. Since victims may not recognize the assault as
"rape" and may be confused by their feelings, it is important to open a line of
communication. Some questions to ask that might open this line, without making the victim
feel threatened or making the victim identify the incident as a "rape" are: |
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Has your partner ever made you have sex when you
didn’t want to? |
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Have you ever been uncomfortable with a sexual
request from your partner, but did it anyway? |
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Have you ever had sex with your partner because
you were afraid to say "no"? |
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Have you ever given into sex because your
partner would not stop harassing you about it? |
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Guidelines on how to help victims of sexual assault: |
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Believe them |
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Let them know their feelings are normal |
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Let them know that you care |
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Support them for talking about the assault |
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Listen carefully |
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Let them know about community resources |
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Let them know the assault was not their fault |
Marital Rape
